Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

audiofreak95

Search for a member

audiofreak95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2743
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About audiofreak95 : I like French fries, my girl and my computer and I ain't fat :

audiofreak95's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 3:48pm<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 7:10pm

audiofreak95's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

audiofreak95's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (7940)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36228) - you deserved it (6878)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you deserved it (18796)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (9707)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (2263)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (5303)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (5303)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (5303)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (5303)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (40374)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (76362)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17994) - you deserved it (76362)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (5056)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (22162)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: