Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

audiofreak95

Search for a member

audiofreak95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3195
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About audiofreak95 : I like French fries, my girl and my computer and I ain't fat :

audiofreak95's page activity

Visits<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 3:48pm<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 7:10pm

audiofreak95's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

audiofreak95's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (7951)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36386) - you deserved it (6895)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (3282)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (18861)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (9837)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37911) - you deserved it (2266)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17597) - you deserved it (5318)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12244) - you deserved it (40520)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18404) - you deserved it (77462)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18404) - you deserved it (77462)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (5070)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (22212)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: