audiofreak95

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audiofreak95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5466
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About audiofreak95 : I like French fries, my girl and my computer and I ain't fat :

audiofreak95's page activity

Visits<b>Reider022</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:10am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 3:48pm<b>CanadianCutie22</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 7:10pm

audiofreak95's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

audiofreak95's favorite FMLs

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

by Help / 11/26/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 4:36am / United States / Health

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

by Gabriela / 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm / Intimacy

Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML

by laststand11 / 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm / Transportation

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

by whyyy / 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

by bizzyizzy0121 / 11/21/2011 at 1:28am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy