About audiofreak95 : I like French fries, my girl and my computer and I ain't fat :
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (11796)
On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)
Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18024) - you deserved it (2649)
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (1709)
On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (6438)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Today, I rubbed my face in my armpit stubble because it felt like my ex-boyfriend's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10673) - you deserved it (40176)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (2032)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (3384)
On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (4007)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, my mom used "happy Thanksgiving break" and "we sold your car" in the same sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (1727)
On 11/22/2011 at 5:36pm - misc - by laststand11 -
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (409)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28051) - you deserved it (8714)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (4478)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16136) - you deserved it (1628)
On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by whyyy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (2066)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31022) - you deserved it (4132)
On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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