Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

audiofreak95

Search for a member

audiofreak95
  • Town/Country : AMURICA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2267
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About audiofreak95 : I like French fries, my girl and my computer and I ain't fat :

audiofreak95's last visitors

alexmac222CanadianCutie22

audiofreak95's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

audiofreak95's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (6152)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

#19840334
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8315) - you deserved it (43072)

On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (3718)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (2694)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35080) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18707) - you deserved it (8325)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

#19552078
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (47168)

On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33016) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16058) - you deserved it (4696)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (2379)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

#19357062
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/27/2012 at 11:54am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43690) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

#19328317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: