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au5t1n13

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au5t1n13

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 212
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About au5t1n13 : Look at myself as an easy going guy with a pep in my step I try to stay as happy and positive as I can but sometimes u Godda sit down and tell random ass people to fuck your life

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au5t1n13's page activity

Visits<b>Dccj456</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:04am<b>xopromises</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 10:15pm<b>pocketemo1997</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 2:03pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:32pm<b>klarissa_xo</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 11:24pm<b>Grabes4987</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 1:21am<b>yadanax</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:25am<b>InfamousRaider</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 10:25pm<b>Capernog</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 10:34pm

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au5t1n13's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (8747)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43919) - you deserved it (13899)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25138) - you deserved it (9023)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22722) - you deserved it (7372)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was training a new girl at work. We're always told to find "common interests" with the people we are training to make it less awkward for them. Little did I know that our "common interest" would turn out to be my boyfriend. FML

#20043557
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (1511)

On 08/26/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by damnit. (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27964) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (1995)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (12387)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (2023)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3390)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (2756)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML

#19768681
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (9111)

On 06/11/2012 at 1:25am - love - by thanksnicksparks (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (4110)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)



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