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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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athiest_pope

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athiest_pope
  • Town/Country : CA, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1688
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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athiest_pope's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (13973) - you deserved it (2410)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

#5391347 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (9692)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I saw a youtube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his Ipod and at the end he showed how there was no scratches and the Ipod screen was clean. So I took my brand new Ipod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612 (479)

I agree, your life sucks (9102) - you deserved it (148617)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called by my son's school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551 (526)

I agree, your life sucks (5782) - you deserved it (71996)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

#5286860 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (4424) - you deserved it (38833)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50332) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML

#5247721 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (47616) - you deserved it (2251)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (11688) - you deserved it (31166)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

#4566458 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (41339) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (57194)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

#4446947 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (34368) - you deserved it (10360)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

#4404905 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/09/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by itendstonight (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

#4362342 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (37705) - you deserved it (1732)

On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (55254) - you deserved it (8738)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)