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asylumlane

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asylumlane

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 345
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asylumlane : Quiet, honest, no time to pretend.

asylumlane's page activity

Visits<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>tactfulmommy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:06pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>bogglebeck</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:37pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:03pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:39am<b>rolso</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:31am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:28am<b>Lilly2shoes</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:48pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:25pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:54pm<b>froggy101</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:56pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:13am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:08am<b>myGRAM</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:05am<b>loladear</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 10:05am<b>enddmd</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:39am

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asylumlane's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43563) - you deserved it (3829)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26421) - you deserved it (33236)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (3874)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML

#21285139
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (8508)

On 10/25/2014 at 5:58pm - misc - by tanisLX - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

#21279992
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by KayyElOh94 - United States

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (52034)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46935) - you deserved it (3515)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (2566)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (7881)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46232) - you deserved it (7635)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (16575)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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