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Offline (the 10/08/2016 at 12:25am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1383
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asylumlane : Quiet, honest, no time to pretend.

asylumlane's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 2:47pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 2:40pm<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 5:38pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:41am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:49am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:54am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:09pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:44am<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:12am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twye</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:11am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>tactfulmommy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:06pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:57pm

asylumlane's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of asylumlane's badges

asylumlane's favorite FMLs

Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They finally gave in. After they handed me my diploma, they decided to leave because it was "too boring." I'm currently sitting on the curb of the street waiting for my Uber, while people take pictures of me. FML

by Mexican / 06/18/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my job as a supervisor has become increasingly ridiculous because one employee doesn't want to do the tasks I give her. My supervisor tells me to keep working with her and giving her work. When she goes directly to him, he tells her she doesn't have to do them. FML

by crackie / 06/16/2016 at 1:45pm / Korea, Republic of / Work

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, a customer got angry with me, because store policy says we can't accept returns of unsealed video games unless there's actual damage to the disc. The guy got enraged and started yelling about how I'm a "useless fuckwhistle". I almost got written up for laughing so hard at the insult. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2016 at 4:21pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2016 at 9:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm seven months pregnant and going to college. I had to use the bathroom, but all of the bathrooms at my building were closed, so I had to walk to the next building, a block away. I didn't make it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2016 at 12:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a student threw her hot coffee at me after I told her I was giving her an F. For months I've been telling her she needs to hand in missing work, but she thought I was bluffing. She got suspended, but my clothes are still ruined and I still got burned. FML

by KayleeFrye / 03/05/2016 at 12:39am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was working at a sushi restaurant, a guy told me he wanted the table next to the "koi fish tank", because he wanted to let the fish know what happens when they "cross him". FML

by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my husband, who has been in a coma for 5 weeks, woke up. When I went to visit him, the first thing he did was try and continue the argument we had been having before he crashed the car. FML

by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was in a car accident on the way to work. I called my boss and told him I had to deal with the police and the accident report and didn't know how long it would take. He got mad and said I "should have picked a better time to do this". FML

by Mycardoesn'tevenwork / 02/22/2016 at 3:16pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML

by replaced / 02/21/2016 at 10:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my teacher gave me a 0% on my personal narrative in my writing class. His only comment on the whole paper was, "Too long, didn't read." FML

by This guy / 02/20/2016 at 9:53pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2016 at 7:53am / United Kingdom (Merton) / Love

Today, my mom tried to convince me to throw out my insulin shots because she read a chain email that claimed they "cause cancer". FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Health