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asylumlane

Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 8:05pm) | Search for a member

asylumlane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 676
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asylumlane : Quiet, honest, no time to pretend.

asylumlane's page activity

Visits<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:49am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:54am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:09pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:44am<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:12am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twye</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:11am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>tactfulmommy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:06pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>bogglebeck</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:37pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:03pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:39am<b>rolso</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:31am

asylumlane's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of asylumlane's badges

asylumlane's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

#21444439
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30812) - you deserved it (2103)

On 07/20/2015 at 10:29am - work - by mrsmahdi - United States (California)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (1893)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (2678)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (4201)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

#21441743
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (1927)

On 07/14/2015 at 9:04pm - work - by ineedaraise (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML

#21440819
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (1599)

On 07/13/2015 at 1:06am - work - by Wolfrunner87 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

#21440426
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (1986)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (2381)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

#21438428
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (2401)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by grossed out mom - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24568) - you deserved it (1787)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (1455)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28335) - you deserved it (3682)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35971) - you deserved it (2582)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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