aspenkaramariee

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Offline (the 03/10/2014 at 7:19am)

aspenkaramariee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 December 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 180
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About aspenkaramariee : I can tickle a gnarly synth

aspenkaramariee's page activity

Visits<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:20pm<b>CamaroBoy98</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:54pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:52pm<b>marleybree</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 11:15pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 6:18pm

aspenkaramariee's FML badges

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

aspenkaramariee's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

by eightleggedtictac / 06/08/2014 at 11:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

by okay._. / 11/01/2012 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

by fmlfmboyfriendah / 02/13/2009 at 9:37am / United States (Virginia) / Love