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aspacess

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aspacess

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 82
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About aspacess : I have "fuck you" tattooed on my chest.

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aspacess's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59235) - you deserved it (8822)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56270) - you deserved it (6667)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML

#20784969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (4362)

On 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44984) - you deserved it (4491)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54377) - you deserved it (27340)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67984) - you deserved it (6252)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9633) - you deserved it (32416)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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