About aspacess : I have "fuck you" tattooed on my chest.
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aspacess's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my 11-year-old daughter heard the quote, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." She decided to test this out by letting our new puppy out of the front door. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML
by ak_6694 / 04/02/2013 at 9:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
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- Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years… Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom.… Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm…