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Mobility
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50 quality responses
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Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15625) - you deserved it (1492)
On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16953) - you deserved it (1290)
On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14734) - you deserved it (26717)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13714) - you deserved it (3957)
On 03/26/2012 at 6:33pm - money - by Sharkie49 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (5030)
On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (1435)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8213) - you deserved it (23913) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (4915)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML
I agree, your life sucks (15359) - you deserved it (3174)
On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan
Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (1875)
On 01/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by jaycee (woman) - United States
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (3298)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (4258) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with a voice card. It said "Marry me Amber?" I'm not Amber. That's his ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29600) - you deserved it (2259)
On 01/18/2011 at 1:16pm - love - by dubblechic - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6223) - you deserved it (64495)
On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40545) - you deserved it (3594)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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