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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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asoldierswifey

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asoldierswifey
  • Town/Country : Spangdalehm AB, Germany
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 206
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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asoldierswifey's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (3360)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

#4883657 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (38519) - you deserved it (4398)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:30pm - health - by minnie (woman) - United States

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (11984)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730 (340)

I agree, your life sucks (40638) - you deserved it (12211)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (6905)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

#3969079 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (40896) - you deserved it (6331)

On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (47930) - you deserved it (2193)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML

#3429206 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (40287) - you deserved it (2295)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (40061) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

#2853235 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (4233)

On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

#2464746 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (40383) - you deserved it (7052)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

#2406815 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (39096) - you deserved it (3329)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm - health - by PiZzA_FaCe (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (6004)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (43467) - you deserved it (3384)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

#554524 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57247) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Marian (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)