About asnakelovinbabe : I am a snake hobbyist specializing in keeping and breeding snakes of many kinds. I am also an avid gamer and a professional polymer clay artist.
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Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44667) - you deserved it (5215)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40195) - you deserved it (2134)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (13572)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23932) - you deserved it (1765)
On 03/27/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Imafishyfishy (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41568) - you deserved it (1958)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32954) - you deserved it (2022)
On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (6732)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:44am - love - by SierraDiaz2097 - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43642) - you deserved it (5152)
On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (1756) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34713) - you deserved it (5203)
On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (12924)
On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (3051)
On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (6242)
On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you deserved it (35666)
On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -
Friday 24 May 2013
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