Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 4:46am) | Search for a member
About asnakelovinbabe : Hi. I'm Shannon. This one time I put hats and mustaches on my snakes. You might love them:
You're probably here because you just saw a comment of mine defending how awesome spiders or snakes are, and you were wanting to see what kind of crazy person says these things. I understand.
In all seriousness though. I am a snake hobbyist specializing in keeping, breeding, photographing, and educating about snakes of many kinds. Even though my passion is snakes, I love and have a deep respect for all critters, from dogs and cats and rats to spiders and salamanders. I particularly love moths, I raise luna, cecropia and rosy maple moths and I also enjoy collecting and mounting specimens of moths and butterflies.
I am also an avid gamer and a professional polymer clay artist. My day job is sculpting reptile artwork. I'm happily married to a wonderful husband. I like to spend as much free time as possible outdoors with my camera.
Shadow hide you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML
Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
Friday 31 July 2015