aslate

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aslate

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2154
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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aslate's page activity

Visits<b>maxis145</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:37pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:58pm<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:50am<b>heirofhope</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:36pm<b>Destroyer_2_2</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:05pm<b>mattmsk005</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:37am<b>Just_A_Walker</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:16am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:32pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 1:44am<b>thatguy7799</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>nina_0917</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:49am<b>turtlescott163</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:29pm<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:50pm<b>GraceKiera</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 7:04pm<b>kristine562</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:39am<b>insanelyXnikki</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 10:51am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:55pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 2:58am<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 12:51pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:36pm

aslate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aslate's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

by nosrepamai82 / 07/26/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

by Pottymouth / 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm / United States / Money

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

by BlueBaby123 / 07/25/2009 at 7:30am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2009 at 7:13am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

by Tallow101 / 07/23/2009 at 3:10am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

by Meh / 07/18/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

by failhusband / 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

by rockstarohyeah / 07/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

by rockstarohyeah / 07/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Love