[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

aslate

Search for a member

aslate
  • Town/Country : Halifax, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 October 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 718
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

aslate's last visitors

Xonaiyaboatiebanterkayla_f_babyyyYourMooseyFatejem1991

aslate's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

aslate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (10697) - you deserved it (11958)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received a $100 bill in the mail as a late graduation present. I placed it on the table so I could go to the bathroom. I come back to find the table empty and my $100 bill missing. The fan blew the money on the floor and my 8 week old puppy ate it. FML

#5500078 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (27683) - you deserved it (11424)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:32am - money - by TractorUWG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (2590)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on facebook. But, the worse part is he then texted me saying "This is my reply". FML

#5490977 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (24131) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/26/2009 at 7:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (10952) - you deserved it (35036)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

#5306318 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (34218)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (3871)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

#5134032 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (2810)

On 09/08/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by easrc (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML

#5130583 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML

#4780151 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (6104)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (16457) - you deserved it (27808)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

#4717200 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (25210) - you deserved it (6623)

On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (18024) - you deserved it (26124)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (2250)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)