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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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I agree, their lives suck
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asiancosmo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 2:18am / United States / Love
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML
by anon / 10/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
by becca / 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm / United States / Love
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids
by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Monkey / 10/27/2012 at 11:02am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:20am / United States / Kids
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Love
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML
by familyofpsychos / 10/26/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
by winterbee123 / 10/25/2012 at 4:07am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Kallian / 10/25/2012 at 3:08am / Australia / Money
Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML
by DrugsRX / 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom,… Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I… Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category.…
- Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a…