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asiancosmo's FML badges
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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I agree, their lives suck
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asiancosmo's favorite FMLs
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by wow babe / 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by lellow_171 / 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 7:13am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by schooyou101 / 11/17/2012 at 8:34am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
by needanewride / 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 8:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML
by Eganstein / 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
by notalovestory / 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
by slypher25aussie / 11/09/2012 at 2:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Love
- Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours… Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears.… Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned…