This member hasn't filled in their description.
asiancosmo's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
asiancosmo's favorite FMLs
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by lobstercola / 11/24/2012 at 11:35am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Tymer / 11/23/2012 at 10:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML
by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
by Dead_Fox / 11/21/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
by thinner than you / 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by babyblues / 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…