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About ashtopher : i am a 19 year old who loves a good laugh. i am the blondest person i know. i say the dumbest things all the time. :)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (2652)
On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - kids - by Broeman (man) - United States (New York)
Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (3578)
On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (2211)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States
Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19291) - you deserved it (69605)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by studentdriver828 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57831) - you deserved it (2530)
On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are suppose to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (55082)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (144592) - you deserved it (13072)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the casino. I used my last $5 on a slot machine. When the machine started lighting up, saying I had just won $20,000, I excitedly began jumping and screaming. As people crowded around me, the casino lady explained it was 20,000 credits, not dollars. I had only won $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31810) - you deserved it (12305)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:12pm - money - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was planning on meeting my friend at the mall. She came late, and I was in the dressing room trying on a few things. When I came out to meet her, she looked at me oddly and said, "You shouldn't buy that, it looks terrible on you." Those were the clothes I came in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37597) - you deserved it (3493)
On 05/18/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121992) - you deserved it (29422)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (11665)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76982) - you deserved it (3457)
On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61536) - you deserved it (9796)
On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (289233) - you deserved it (35518)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran for my school's elections for President. I thought I was popular enough to win. I lost, by 61 votes, my grade is only 62 people. I was the only one to vote for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49141) - you deserved it (8801)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
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