About ashlyn_warren : wife of Justin Bieber. probably at the gym
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ashlyn_warren's favorite FMLs
by James / 07/31/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by tony456 / 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Kristinmarsh08 / 10/29/2010 at 8:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML
by maimay234 / 09/03/2010 at 5:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Sally19863 / 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals
Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML
by whathef???? / 02/13/2010 at 1:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2010 at 8:16am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
by BlackPolarbear / 01/23/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
by DangerZone / 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
- Today, at work a cute fill in employee struck up a conversation with me. We seemingly hit it off so… Today, I had to get out of bed at 2am to go tell my parrot to stop playing with his bell. I covered… Today, I decided to have a party of one in the shower. As a result of a soap bar falling onto the…