Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ashleyylove3

Search for a member

ashleyylove3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1010
  • Number of comments : 185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About ashleyylove3 : I'm a sarcastic ass hole.

ashleyylove3's page activity

Visits<b>petrolhead</b> - 4 hours ago<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:48am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:44am<b>dafuck_15</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:42pm<b>RecLeague</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:18pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:30am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 12:18am<b>sweetkitten69</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:47pm<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:58pm<b>sexy_banana</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:59pm<b>FML_Elle</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:08pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:26pm<b>anonymous428</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:07am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 5:44pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:37pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:31pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:24pm

ashleyylove3's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ashleyylove3's badges

ashleyylove3's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42170) - you deserved it (3618)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37826) - you deserved it (5511)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51440) - you deserved it (6860)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48669) - you deserved it (6437)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML

#20995564
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35403) - you deserved it (4645)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by not-religious (woman) - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

#20984974
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35658) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/08/2013 at 1:00pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

#20984257
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48321) - you deserved it (4527)

On 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by bella - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48331) - you deserved it (8043)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML

#20961117
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29024) - you deserved it (10802)

On 11/17/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by what_a_loner - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46996) - you deserved it (4070)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (4716)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34571) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: