Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ashleytianarose

Search for a member

ashleytianarose
  • Town/Country : Texas, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 462
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ashleytianarose : Ill tell you how it is. Fuck sugar coating it.

ashleytianarose's last visitors

k_gilsflufee2DeathAngel2624FamousPeace_kyleG_austen_smith27AspireworksWeiXinLunDWordHead16

ashleytianarose's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ashleytianarose's badges

ashleytianarose's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56647) - you deserved it (6008)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49449) - you deserved it (7868)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41696) - you deserved it (4221)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51734) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38280) - you deserved it (2305)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

#20807393
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (25544)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46677) - you deserved it (2989)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45787) - you deserved it (3634)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (8899)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (3230)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43313) - you deserved it (14340)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (17611)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57734) - you deserved it (6884)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43122) - you deserved it (2852)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47174) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: