About ashleyek : I just do things on the Internet.
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by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by uneducated / 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML
by fannylover / 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by thirdwheel / 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by blacklove / 02/12/2010 at 3:19pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/17/2010 at 8:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML
by stubble / 11/13/2009 at 1:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML
by problemchild / 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
by Few_Absolutes / 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to… Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it… Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to…
- Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog…