About ashleyek : I just do things on the Internet.
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Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML
by testesential / 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 8:25am / United States / Kids
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML
by Bree / 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Ca13b / 10/15/2011 at 3:18am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
by Foreverathome / 09/28/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to fire an employee because she constantly calls in, or is late to work. She became very emotional and I felt kind of bad, so I walked her out myself. We then got stuck in the company elevator. FML
by thatsmejl / 09/15/2011 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
by WishIWasAWriter / 09/08/2011 at 2:03pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…