About ashleyek : I just do things on the Internet.
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ashleyek's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML
by Lovernotafighter / 02/24/2012 at 6:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
by amythest / 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids
by MahSquito / 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Health
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by Shameful / 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
by tommy / 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…