About ashleyek : I just do things on the Internet.
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Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (4911)
On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15551) - you deserved it (4163)
On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States
Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15198) - you deserved it (2282)
On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24139) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (5042)
On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (4425)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24172) - you deserved it (3703)
On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)
Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43044) - you deserved it (4103)
On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19153) - you deserved it (2156)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24123) - you deserved it (4839)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35603) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (2606)
On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (4779)
On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (1973)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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