ashleyek

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ashleyek

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3131
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ashleyek : I just do things on the Internet.

ashleyek's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:10pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:51pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:14pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:30am<b>mkhikaru</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:29am<b>asiansensation2</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:28am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:00am<b>jubeoe</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:57am<b>flupsht</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:22am<b>Tho0omY</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:38am<b>KatieKupcake4195</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:41pm<b>Quiltme00</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 3:35pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:32pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:13pm<b>mdcdeve</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:56pm<b>olpally</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 1:59pm

ashleyek's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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ashleyek's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

by wasntme / 03/30/2009 at 6:14am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

by LJ / 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

by iliketurtles / 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money