ashleyek

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ashleyek

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2908
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ashleyek : I just do things on the Internet.

ashleyek's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:10pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:51pm<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:14pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:30am<b>mkhikaru</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:29am<b>asiansensation2</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:28am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:00am<b>jubeoe</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:57am<b>flupsht</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 6:57pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:42am<b>Tho0omY</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 4:38am<b>KatieKupcake4195</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:41pm<b>Quiltme00</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 3:35pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:32pm<b>rob02</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 3:13pm<b>mdcdeve</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:56pm

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ashleyek's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

by sobasics / 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm / United States / Work

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Work

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

by fuck YOLO / 04/03/2013 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

by j_Lauren / 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

by HereWeGoAgain / 01/24/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 10:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous