Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About ashleybearr7 : Hello there. :)
My favorite colors are: purple, red, and lime green.
My current favorite tv shows: American Horror Story, South Park, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and A Half Men (the old ones with Charlie Sheen), Adventure Time, and Awkward.
My favorite bands/artists: Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Macklemore, BFMV, TDG, Hopsin, Eminem, Theory Of A Deadman, Tech N9ne, Iron Maiden, Luke Bryan, Puddle Of Mudd, AC/DC, Korn, Afroman, BVB, Bonjovi, Guns N' Roses, Daft Punk, Skrillex, Godsmack, Hollywood Undead, Kid Cudi, Kanye West, AND much, much more.
I love all types of music and LOVE listening to new songs so, if you want, suggest me some songs/artist.
I'm pretty opinionated and I speak my mind whenever I please, especially if I strongly agree/disagree with the topic.
I consider myself a pretty calm, laid back person.
I'd say I'm pretty friendly and open so if you ever feel like striking up a conversation, don't be shy. :)
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today I went to a big job interview . Everything went well at first with the interviewer being impressed by my CV . I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account and practically accused of being a criminal cuz people without them "alway have something to hide" . FML
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend cummd and sat on my lap. She landd directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. mega FML
Today, I took a crowded train ome . I was olding on to te rail wen an old man started rubbing is crotc across ma and . I moved ma and but e moved too and kept doing it . Wen I moved ma and iger, e started licking it . I ad to wait ten minutes 4 te next stop . FML
TODAY, I WAS AT THE LIBRARY USING A COMPUTER TO ORDER A PACKAGE. A MAN SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME MUMBLING TO HIMSELF WHILE STARING AT ME. AS I GOT UP TO GO TO THE PRINTER, HE POINTED AT ME AND SCREAMED, "I WILL BURN U ALIVE AND ENJOY IT!" ALL OF MY INFO INCLUDING MY ADDRESS WAS STILL ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN. FML
yesterday crazy bitch of a boss fired me 4 inappropriate conduct. Apparently "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. real FML
Today, my best friend got engaged to te guy se's been seieng fir five years. He also appens to be te man I've been in love wit fir eigt. As se was giving me te details, se noncalantly gave me er reason fir accepting te proposal: "Wy te ell not, tere's always divorce." FML
Today while walking home I really had to pee so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out and a dead apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today I Textd My Boyfriend Saying Tat I Couldn't Wait 4 Im To Get Ome An See My Costume An Tat I Ad Dressd Up As A Nakd Lady. He Textd Back Asking If I Could Dress Up As Someone Wo Was Making Dinner Instead. FML
Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.
Friday 27 March 2015