Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About ashleybearr7 : Hello there. :)
My favorite colors are: purple, red, and lime green.
My current favorite tv shows: American Horror Story, South Park, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and A Half Men (the old ones with Charlie Sheen), Adventure Time, and Awkward.
My favorite bands/artists: Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Macklemore, BFMV, TDG, Hopsin, Eminem, Theory Of A Deadman, Tech N9ne, Iron Maiden, Luke Bryan, Puddle Of Mudd, AC/DC, Korn, Afroman, BVB, Bonjovi, Guns N' Roses, Daft Punk, Skrillex, Godsmack, Hollywood Undead, Kid Cudi, Kanye West, AND much, much more.
I love all types of music and LOVE listening to new songs so, if you want, suggest me some songs/artist.
I'm pretty opinionated and I speak my mind whenever I please, especially if I strongly agree/disagree with the topic.
I consider myself a pretty calm, laid back person.
I'd say I'm pretty friendly and open so if you ever feel like striking up a conversation, don't be shy. :)
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML
Today, I was finally going to Best Buy to get The Sims 3. I was so excited to get it that I ran to the back of the store to get it, and tripped over a little boy in the process, which made me stumble into a CD rack and knock it over. Which made the rest of the CD racks fall over like dominoes. FML
Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML
Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014