Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About ashleybearr7 : Hello there. :)
My favorite colors are: purple, red, and lime green.
My current favorite tv shows: American Horror Story, South Park, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Two and A Half Men (the old ones with Charlie Sheen), Adventure Time, and Awkward.
My favorite bands/artists: Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Macklemore, BFMV, TDG, Hopsin, Eminem, Theory Of A Deadman, Tech N9ne, Iron Maiden, Luke Bryan, Puddle Of Mudd, AC/DC, Korn, Afroman, BVB, Bonjovi, Guns N' Roses, Daft Punk, Skrillex, Godsmack, Hollywood Undead, Kid Cudi, Kanye West, AND much, much more.
I love all types of music and LOVE listening to new songs so, if you want, suggest me some songs/artist.
I'm pretty opinionated and I speak my mind whenever I please, especially if I strongly agree/disagree with the topic.
I consider myself a pretty calm, laid back person.
I'd say I'm pretty friendly and open so if you ever feel like striking up a conversation, don't be shy. :)
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML
Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML
Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Friday 29 August 2014