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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 January 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 640
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ashley_burton_ : Hi(:
Send me a message?☺
The names ashley✌
Alabama is where I call home

ashley_burton_'s page activity

Visits<b>ColbyGB</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 12:04am<b>k_gils</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 11:16am<b>heffastera</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 4:56pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 9:22am<b>gt3mqx</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 3:13pm<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:17am<b>chamay</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 11:23am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 9:07am<b>dlowry004</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 3:38am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 7:58pm<b>HullScott</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 6:57am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 8:47pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 5:42pm<b>TyT63</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:42pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:35am<b>shibeep</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 9:08am<b>CholoChino</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 11:32pm<b>schmuckjon79</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 2:39pm

ashley_burton_'s FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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ashley_burton_'s favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

by ForeverAlone / 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

by really / 02/19/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

by NoThanksGrandma / 11/20/2011 at 2:37am / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

by faded as shit / 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

by Ghettogirl4life / 07/12/2011 at 9:34am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

by Ohfman117 / 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy