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Today, I was invitd ovar to a dinnar wit ta CEOs of ma company, along wit ma two cildran. My 3 yaar-old askd loudly wy wa ava two "nosa olas", to wic ma 4 yaar-old son raplid "So u can pick your nosa and still braata!" Ha tan damonstratd. FML
Today , my grandma walkd into my room and askd if te ting lying on my nigtstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma , tat's a clock.'' After staring at me , confusd 4 a few seconds , se ten fartd , and left my room. FML
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my grlfriendhile cooking dinnerhen she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie!! FML
Today , I'm going on an 8 hour drive with insane family. This usually means screaming arguments , graphic conversations about dad's pubes , some karaoke , plenty of farting , some stale Pringles , and an obese golden retriever on lap the entire time. Arizona , here we come.
Today, I went on a first date to te movies. During te flick, I coked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda an tat got stuck as well. I finally got my breat back an let out te loudest burp I ever ave. He looked at me an said "Does tis mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, I went on a double date with mah bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minute after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. mega FML
Today,hile out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clerely he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015