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ashley12356's favorite FMLs
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Taylor / 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (California) / Health
by ciotter / 01/08/2011 at 3:57am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
by roberto / 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Intimacy
Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
by fmmlll / 10/18/2010 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ringhider / 10/08/2010 at 12:55pm / France (Lorraine) / Love
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 7:45am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML
by Sara1990 / 08/23/2010 at 7:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by cooldude / 07/01/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…