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ashhole122

Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 6:03am) | Search for a member

ashhole122

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  • Number of visits : 548
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ashhole122's page activity

Visits<b>iireenee</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:43am

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ashhole122's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41206) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33476) - you deserved it (3665)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31963) - you deserved it (3784)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (27971)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (7118)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (4754)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (11092)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (2755)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36745) - you deserved it (2931)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I showed up to work and my boss was nowhere to be found. A phone call later, I find out he's in Dubai. Oh, and since I'm his personal assistant, I should be able to take care of matters until he gets back. I've only been his assistant for a week. FML

#21281510
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (2194)

On 10/20/2014 at 12:53am - work - by are you kidding me - United States (Kansas)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31738) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)



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