ashhole122

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Offline (the 10/29/2015 at 12:34am)

ashhole122

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  • Number of visits : 2188
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ashhole122's page activity

Visits<b>iireenee</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:43am

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ashhole122's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

by Feronia / 05/05/2015 at 5:00pm / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

by 420curse / 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

by fleckney26 / 05/05/2015 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

by MouserMan / 10/22/2014 at 10:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

by wthiswrongwithmi / 10/22/2014 at 1:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

by anonymous / 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

by yus / 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

by GetMeTheDamnBleach / 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Animals

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2014 at 11:49am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

by youngboob / 10/21/2014 at 11:42am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy