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ashes_fall

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ashes_fall
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  • Number of visits : 449
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ashes_fall's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (4080)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (5533)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (55305)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

#16599419
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (3228) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29479) - you deserved it (11638)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46332) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (3604)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52849) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (9883)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (14635)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (34308)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41792) - you deserved it (14374)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28116) - you deserved it (5074)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44846) - you deserved it (8004)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46522) - you deserved it (13497)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -



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