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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML
Today, I was walking down the stair with mah guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to mah wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close mah eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stars. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, an looking 4 an apology, I asked, "What do u say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" real FML
Today, mah boyfriand of 2 waaks said that ha was going to cook ma dinnar. Aftar waiting for tha frozan pizza that ha dacidad to maka for ma to ba complataly cookad, ha said, "Oh I looool hata this part", raachad into tha ovan with his bara hands and took out tha pizza, all whila scraaming. Ha is 24. FML
Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriendho I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around lyk they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old childho was running past and knocked him out. FML
Friday 27 March 2015