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asharnell

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asharnell
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  • Number of visits : 229
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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asharnell's favorite FMLs

Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (331728) - you deserved it (15766)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (57651)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227242) - you deserved it (29242)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51522) - you deserved it (3631)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

#169913
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169285) - you deserved it (13634)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by xo_lezz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

#99945
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70768) - you deserved it (6535)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

#921
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4777) - you deserved it (19507)

On 01/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by csully - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brand new (and very expensive) laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one! Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18396) - you deserved it (3356)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on msn when her roommate answered «Sorry, this is not Marie, she is at her boyfriend’s». Really? I've looked everywhere in my flat, I can’t find her. FML

#39
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66647) - you deserved it (3317)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:56pm - love - by Icy -



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