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asharnell

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asharnell

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 535
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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asharnell's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (14173)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (3671)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37236) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

#15062819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (5328)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:43am - misc - by Karl -

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

#14872504
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (3316)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by bymyself -

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML

#14138501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (8397)

On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7026) - you deserved it (39716)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10848) - you deserved it (30151)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (29227)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

#12916563
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33207) - you deserved it (4692)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:49am - misc - by wakinginvegas87 - United States (California)

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

#12837057
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you deserved it (7739)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3186)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned my boyfriend has another girlfriend. His excuse is he's bipolar and each of his personalities needs a girlfriend. FML

#10642030
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40503) - you deserved it (4582)

On 05/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by life sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37738) - you deserved it (5235)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)



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