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asharnell

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asharnell

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 412
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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asharnell's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (2768)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19906) - you deserved it (3405)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

#19841077
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28041) - you deserved it (3058)

On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

#19797728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20239) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (3868)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

#19710160
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (29579)

On 05/31/2012 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (3387)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (6685)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51740) - you deserved it (4404)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42601) - you deserved it (4470)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

#18343530
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (25467)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (9029)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

#17874875
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (6894)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:57pm - love - by lostlove (man) - United States (Missouri)



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