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asharnell

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asharnell

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  • Number of visits : 454
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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asharnell's favorite FMLs

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

#20069676
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5456) - you deserved it (30907)

On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (3262)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (3658)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

#20064184
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (21512)

On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (6103)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (2527)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

#20035075
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (1719)

On 08/22/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (12385)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (4459)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6136) - you deserved it (70634)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

#19928485
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (2339)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm - work - by Ian Artis - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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