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ash86

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ash86
  • Town/Country : united states
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 August 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 482
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ash86's favorite FMLs

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (15293)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (2095)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (1873)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (7061)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

#20050674
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (2486)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:02am - love - by yonanon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

#20045631
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (9471)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:08am - intimacy - by gotta love my momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37490) - you deserved it (2021)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (1539)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (2009)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

#19761767
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5633) - you deserved it (49287)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)



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