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ash7788's favorite FMLs
by LemonLearn / 10/06/2016 at 4:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML
by Senseless_487 / 09/16/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my bitch of a boss sent out a group text saying she'd had a chainsaw accident and lost the tips of 4 of her fingers and would be out indefinitely. When I told my boyfriend, his immediate response was to grab my phone and reply "I'm stumped, I don't know what to say." She hasn't responded yet. FML
by 4fingerdiscount / 09/13/2016 at 7:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by livingonmyownfromnowon / 09/13/2016 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by CoolGuy69 / 09/12/2016 at 7:53am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Transportation
Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML
by r1has / 09/12/2016 at 4:21am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML
by fretting / 09/08/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML
by mymidlifecrisis / 09/08/2016 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that my college textbooks, which I spent nearly $200 dollars on for the two of them, did not come with the codes they were advertised with. The codes are needed for online classwork that is required to pass the course. Each new code is $90 a piece. FML
by NintyStar / 08/30/2016 at 4:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I had to abandon my normal duties and help out the electrician my boss called, all because my boss couldn't handle speaking to him since he was attractive. She's in her fifties. I'm in my twenties and I'm the more mature one. FML
by C8H18 / 08/10/2016 at 3:16pm / United States (California) / Work
by LacrosseFAIL / 07/16/2016 at 6:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek
by CasperTheFriendlyGhost / 07/14/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, 3 weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
by dumped and dusted / 07/13/2016 at 1:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…