asdftammy

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asdftammy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4004
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asdftammy : hello there :) im tammy. i have a facebook, myspace, and aim. letss partayy

asdftammy's page activity

Visits<b>patwo8</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 1:30am<b>masschris</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 10:38am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:22am<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:16am<b>Hoboman69</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 7:03am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 1:13am<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:29am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 6:56pm<b>CanadianWarMoose</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:42am<b>steve1122</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:45pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 5:14pm<b>shabbir87</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:05am<b>FML64128</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 7:35am<b>jahjustin</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:54pm<b>apu_nahasapeemap</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 11:08pm<b>duck313</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 12:35am<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:42pm<b>finalbj</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:06pm

asdftammy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

asdftammy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

by caughtontape / 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

by nick / 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Holidays

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

by cmerr / 03/19/2009 at 3:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

by badbirthday / 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

by stillpoor / 03/14/2009 at 9:44am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy