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asdfghjklana

Offline (the 08/25/2015 at 6:37pm) | Search for a member

asdfghjklana

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8318
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:35am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13am<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:25pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:35pm

asdfghjklana's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45555) - you deserved it (3843) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (16044)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43521) - you deserved it (18788)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (16020)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68788) - you deserved it (17414)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84392) - you deserved it (8733)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84392) - you deserved it (8733)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59166) - you deserved it (4044)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43945) - you deserved it (5639)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (5362)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40289) - you deserved it (6850)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (7202)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (2933)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States



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