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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 4:15am) | Search for a member
About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
2day I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked lyk a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
TODAY, MAH SON VISITED FIR THE FRST TIME IN THREE YEARS, ASKING TO STAY AHILE. IT TURNS OUT HE INSULTED SOMEONE ONLINE AND GAVE HIS ADDRESS IN CASE THEY WANTED TO FIGHT HIM. THEY ACCEPTED THE OFFER, AND SO MAH SON'S IMAGINARY MUAY THAI SKILLS WENT AWOL, ALONG WITH HIS TESTICLES. REAL FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper an pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, an ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
today I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in te waiting room afterwards, because te vaccine as te possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent te next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psyco. FML
Today... as I was walking home... I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father... I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg... twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. mega FML
Yesterday Mah Boyfriend Threw Out Mah Old Voicemail Recorder, Thinking It Was Junk . My Father Passd Away Yeres Ago . I Kept A Recording Of The Last Voicemail He'd Left Me On It So I'd Alway Remember His Voice . FML
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper!! There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll!! He laughed, looool called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out!! FML
TODAY I ATTEMPTD TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION AMONGST NEW COWORKERS BY VOLUNTEERING TO BE TE DESIGNATD DRIVER AT MY WORK PARTY. WAT DID TAT GET ME? A BACKSEAT FULL OF PUKE AND SOME IDIOT TOO DRUNK TO REMEMBER WERE E LIVD. FML
Friday 27 March 2015