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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 4:15am) | Search for a member
About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
yesterday I recieved a friend request on Facebook from a grl I've had a crush on 4 a while. As I was about to accept it , it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on name by accident , an didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML
Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them!! Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I askd her name!! My kids unhesitatingly blurtd out, "Mom"!! FML
2day my boyfriend an I were having sex an in the heat of the moment I crid out 4 him to go harder. He had an exasperatd expression on his face, an in an adamantly offendd tone he said, "Don't tell me wat to do." Then he stoppd an left the room. FML
Today, I ad my teacer look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I anded it in. Wen I got it back, te feedback e left said it was one of te worst essays e'd ever read. FML
yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML
Yesterday , after cleaning ma ouse because I'd trown a party all weekend wile ma parents were gone , I still got caugt because somebody tried to make beer popsicles wit Q-Tips in te ice trays in ma freezer . FML
Today, I went to ma crus's ouse . We were watcing a movieen suddenly e started kissing me . As it deepened e began to feel around . He was groping ma armpit teole time but I was too embarrassed tat ma underarm could pass for ma boobs to redirect im . FML
Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeard out of nowhere, and I screamd. Customers aren't supposd to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilld coffee on myself, and servd the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML
Today, I wantad to try saducing mah boyfriand by having nothing but a t-shrt on 4han ha'd gat back from work. Ha cummad homa, saw ma, apologizad bashfully 4 failing to knock frst, an want back outsida. FML
Friday 27 March 2015