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asdfghjklana

Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 4:15am) | Search for a member

asdfghjklana

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6889
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 23 hours ago<b>clairesucks</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:13am<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:25pm

Liked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - 17 hours ago

asdfghjklana's FML badges

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

yesterday I recieved a friend request on Facebook from a grl I've had a crush on 4 a while. As I was about to accept it , it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on name by accident , an didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

#21121713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44576) - you deserved it (3565)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND'S PARENTS' PARROT WON'T STOP IMITATING MY SEX MOANS, AND KEEPS DOING IT WHENEVER I SPEAK. FML

#21119041
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52357) - you deserved it (14641)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, I accidentally let a huge one riphile tending to an older patient at the nursing homehere I work . The patient passed away shortly thereafter . Coincidence? FML

#21116703
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (6687)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them!! Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I askd her name!! My kids unhesitatingly blurtd out, "Mom"!! FML

#21115862
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51027) - you deserved it (4868)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day my boyfriend an I were having sex an in the heat of the moment I crid out 4 him to go harder. He had an exasperatd expression on his face, an in an adamantly offendd tone he said, "Don't tell me wat to do." Then he stoppd an left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58567) - you deserved it (8295)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ad my teacer look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I anded it in. Wen I got it back, te feedback e left said it was one of te worst essays e'd ever read. FML

#21115571
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49145) - you deserved it (4288)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today In The Middle Of Sex My Girlfriend Yelled "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I Couldn't Finish!! FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58895) - you deserved it (7503)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that mah boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that mah body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matterhat we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you deserved it (4067)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday , after cleaning ma ouse because I'd trown a party all weekend wile ma parents were gone , I still got caugt because somebody tried to make beer popsicles wit Q-Tips in te ice trays in ma freezer . FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (38456)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to ma crus's ouse . We were watcing a movieen suddenly e started kissing me . As it deepened e began to feel around . He was groping ma armpit teole time but I was too embarrassed tat ma underarm could pass for ma boobs to redirect im . FML

#21104962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (7681)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today While Reading The Paper I Saw A Picture Of A Guy I Really Like That I Met Online!! The Picture Is In The Obituaries!! No Wonder He Hasn't Called!! FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (3616)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeard out of nowhere, and I screamd. Customers aren't supposd to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilld coffee on myself, and servd the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

TODAY... WHILE SEARCHING A WOMAN 4 CONTRABAND AS PART OF JOB... SHE KEPT MAKING SEXUAL NOISES THROUGHOUT. AFTER I FINISHED... SHE HUGGED ME AN WENT ON HER WAY. I REALLY NEED A NEW JOB. FML

#21099601
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38415) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I wantad to try saducing mah boyfriand by having nothing but a t-shrt on 4han ha'd gat back from work. Ha cummad homa, saw ma, apologizad bashfully 4 failing to knock frst, an want back outsida. FML

#21097985
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43656) - you deserved it (6524)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)



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