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asdfghjklana

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 7:29am) | Search for a member

asdfghjklana

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3812
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's page activity

Visits<b>clubbing4life</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:01pm<b>iSonia</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Gaber64</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 9:52am<b>brittanymarie15</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:51am<b>Emilscav</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 8:14am<b>nightninja22</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 3:28am<b>Stypahorlikson</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Brock_Dudeson</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 10:41pm<b>hiitsmeeeeeee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:52pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 8:33am<b>Yezetnia</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 4:41pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 11:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 1:28am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Uncgirl</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 7:01pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 3:25pm<b>Ramell</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 6:43am

asdfghjklana's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of asdfghjklana's badges

asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61721) - you deserved it (7267)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (4978)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44943) - you deserved it (23386)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25565) - you deserved it (52665)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45805) - you deserved it (3624)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (6631) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41002) - you deserved it (5302)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45494) - you deserved it (5187)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48210) - you deserved it (4779)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42134) - you deserved it (11363)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (4381)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (5256)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45433) - you deserved it (2756)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

#20997702
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51007) - you deserved it (4417)

On 12/19/2013 at 1:13am - love - by hot_friend (woman) - United States



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