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Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (1876)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (3020)
On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57317) - you deserved it (5651)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33666) - you deserved it (21249)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (2567)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50213) - you deserved it (3423)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49023) - you deserved it (8169)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50422) - you deserved it (13703)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (4053)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49706) - you deserved it (13504)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (15458)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46567) - you deserved it (16165)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75077) - you deserved it (4314)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44058) - you deserved it (4523)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42140) - you deserved it (12211)
On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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