About aruam365 : I'm an EMT and I'm also a currently a paramedic student. I have VERY little free time, but I like to read FMLs when I do.
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aruam365's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML
by overseasbummer / 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by playdated / 06/06/2014 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
by needanotherbed / 05/28/2014 at 10:21am / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML
by Laura / 05/27/2014 at 11:58am / United States / Miscellaneous
by thanks4support / 05/14/2014 at 9:12am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by fat / 01/07/2014 at 7:41am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I found shit on my windshield. I'm not sure if it is human or animal, but it was conveniently smeared all over and even more was placed under my wipers just in case I used them to clean it up. This isn't the first time, and I have no idea who I could have pissed off. FML
by windshitwipers / 05/30/2013 at 5:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Love
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