About artinwords : I really don't think you need to know anything about me but here goes.
I am a 21 year old married lesbian, my friends are idiots and I live by the beach.
Done.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (6948)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25178) - you deserved it (7814)
On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17927) - you deserved it (1811)
On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18976) - you deserved it (1975)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (5964)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21547) - you deserved it (2554)
On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16903) - you deserved it (29284)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14367) - you deserved it (26869)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18190) - you deserved it (3096)
On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (7734)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (7634)
Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (3048)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by kemando - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (8384)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8728) - you deserved it (29873)
On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23859) - you deserved it (8391)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 17 June 2013
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