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artchick5

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  • Number of visits : 860
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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artchick5's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16392) - you deserved it (27770)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46532) - you deserved it (13738)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50145) - you deserved it (6753)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (6801)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I decided to wear my Ugg boots to work. I forgot that my office is carpeted and that the fur in my boots makes me shock every metal thing I touch. I work with computers all day. FML

#9021346
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (31396)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:39am - work - by jewel87 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22958) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (6918)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10890) - you deserved it (20161)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, my mother who is 75 years old just told me and my sister that we are adopted. I'm 45 years old and my sister is 49. FML

#8654763
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (1879)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by cmendez - United States (Arizona)

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

#7923613
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (5058)

On 02/06/2010 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Isabell (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34720) - you deserved it (4071)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6860) - you deserved it (34605)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43101) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML

#6194292
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39586) - you deserved it (4175)

On 11/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by batgirlrules881 (woman) - United States



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