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artchick5

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artchick5

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Today, I went on a busy train . I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window . After feeling a hand on mah ass, I assumed it was her . To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back . After a few stops, I looked back . It was an old man . FML

#5085622
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (11432)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by M.L. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah college roommatehom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couchhen he walked in. That would've been awkward. big fat FML

#4983449
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9803) - you deserved it (38615)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to see a movie. Wile buying tickets, te grl biend te counter asked to sow ma ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I sowed it. Se took a look at it and declared it as fake. Tat ID is real and I'm 24. FML

#4107036
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53676) - you deserved it (2966)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today , I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box',hich contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresse and baby pictures , she says , ( ... and here's mah belly button! ) and plops an umbilical chord in mah hands. FML

#3840283
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50541) - you deserved it (3337)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at work I had to usa tha bathroom. I askad my boss to watch my ragistar and quickly walkad into tha bathroom. I squattad down and paad. A minuta latar I haard somaona ask ovar our walkia talkia systam who was using tha bathroom. I had baan prassing tha intarcom button whila I paad. FML

#3456831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (11774)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:19pm - work - by PeePee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I Walkd Into A Gas Station And Saw Some $.25 Gum. It Lookd Good And I Thought I'd Had A Quarter In My Pocket. I Fine No Change In My Pocket Once I Get To The Register, So I Pull Out My Credit Card. The Cashier Laughs A Few Seconds Later. My Card Was Declind Fir A Piece Of Gum. FML

#3327464
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (14312)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by DeniedAgain (man) - United States (Missouri)

Yesterday, I had sex with this guy who I like very much . As he went to leave I decided to give him one last thrill . So I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him . He abruptly pulled my hand out, when I asked why, he point behind me, my mom watched the whole thing . FML

#3143292
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25135) - you deserved it (68254)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by wastedlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Taday I was alone in mah friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in mah head all day so I decidd to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I hered a noise outside an saw mah friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (56476)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, an ant bit ma penis. Tat was te first 'mout to ever touc it. FML

#1382761
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92084) - you deserved it (22163)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today , I Was Driving Home From School,hen I Saw This Girl I Like Walking Home!! Trying To Be Polite , I Pulled Over And Asked If She Wanted A Ride!! After My Offer , I Was Rejected As She Said "No , I'm Actually Already Home," And Walked Up The Nearest Driveway..!! MY Driveway!! FML

#1035901
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80397) - you deserved it (6380)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

#232169
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69092) - you deserved it (6240)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by ladeda (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today I cut myself on a band-aid box while trying to get one out fir another cut . FML

#24664
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (7757)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... my friend sent me a link about looool a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app 4 months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (5619)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

my grlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46426) - you deserved it (6342)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly askd 4 the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter cummd back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (7028)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version



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