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artchick5

Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 6:23am) | Search for a member

artchick5

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  • Number of visits : 1380
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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artchick5's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38379) - you deserved it (5716)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (66064)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

#15442986
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by anon -

Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML

#15104344
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (9952)

On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40830) - you deserved it (3323)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

#14263079
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40221) - you deserved it (6080)

On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40065) - you deserved it (4970)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (6925)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

#13944368
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30887) - you deserved it (4224)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by smallfrie32 -

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (4201)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (8778)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

#13455884
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32740) - you deserved it (2333)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:05am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML

#12753768
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13787) - you deserved it (48023)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

#12612052
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16487) - you deserved it (27915)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by roflcopter (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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