About arsinic : The elusive ArSinic can often be found lurking on the walls of FML and LOLpics, finding stupid puns and pictures of baby animals for amusement. If you ever cross it's path, the only chance for survival would be to soil yourself or offer it pizza.
arsinic's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
arsinic's favorite FMLs
Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML
by thatshelpful / 07/02/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
by lehonX9 / 06/06/2015 at 5:11am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML
by justin bieber's nutsack / 06/06/2015 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, cops showed up at my house looking for an ex neighbor. It would be all cool if before knocking they didn't politely wait in front of my window listening me and my boyfriend having sex for half an hour. FML
by bonsai_girl / 05/31/2015 at 10:19am / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Intimacy
by TooLoud / 05/30/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by username / 05/19/2015 at 2:45am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML
by colorfun / 05/17/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by msleea / 05/06/2015 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 3:57am / United States (Montana) / Love
Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
by HM / 04/16/2015 at 9:10am / United States (New Mexico) / Animals